Activation

Well I was activated on April 13 and was surprised what it actually felt like. I read alot of accounts on how it feels to people and the general consensus was that it feels like a lump in your through with a little sore throat feeling. It also makes your voice sound hoarse and can also increase coughing. Well, the activation made me hoarse but that was it except for a mild feeling that I couldn't breathe.

My second treatment was alot different. I had gotten used to the first activation to the point were I rarely even noticed it. The second treatment actually made me cough and was really bothersome at first and the feeling that I was unable to breathe was a little worse. It took me 24 hours to stop coughing everytime it went off and 2 to 3 days to get used to the bothersome sore throat feeling.

I am really worried about the next treatment. Will it be even harder to handle then the second? I still have 3 more treatments until I get to where they want me to be as far as stimulator therapy. I guess we will see because I really want this to work. The other thing that bothers me is I've read were other people with my same disorder are taking even higher stimulator settings then I will be.

Another thing I would like to share is that I have been experiencing alot more euphoria with the device activated. I also am alot more irritable and quick to anger. I did some research and asked some questions of people who have been through this and they both stated that MANIA is a possible side effect. Euphoria is just another word for mania or hypomania. This also worries me.

Lastly, I do have some good news. My laboratory results came back and they were very good in relation to my last set 3 months ago. My A1C is back down to a managable ratio and even my cholestorol and my triglcyrides are down too!

Well thats all for now. I'm not sure anyone is reading this but who knows?

Paul

April

Well, I came out of surgery very well and am in the recovery process. My activation date is scheduled for April 13, 2007.
I have had alot of time to think lately and am still wondering if this truly was the best way for me to go. I know, I've tried alot of medicine that just simply didn't work for me. On the contrary, it seemed to make me worse. I have been through alot of therapy and although I'm more in control of my thoughts than ever, I still feel like I am always on the edge. That is if you know what I mean. It's just the whole lump in the chest and wires connected to nerves thing that gives me the willies. What if this doesn't work. It's not like they can just take everything back out without putting me in danger of scarring the nerve or infection.
My family has been very supportive but it is starting to wear them down very fast. Matter of fact, it is straining all parts of my relationship with my wife and son. I can tell how much this has threatened them. At times I feel maybe it would be best if I walked away. The thought of being without them hurts me so much that I could never do it.
On the physical side, my health is not doing very well and I need to take better care of myself. What being a diabetic and a smoker puts 2 strikes against me before I even get on to the other problems I am having.
Well, thats the update to so far. What I have been thinking and were I'm at. I've only had one reply to my blog and somebody warned me about him. I won't say who but I haven't made a decision about that situation. People often judge the judgemental people and don't realize there
judging as well. Proof is in the pudding they say and I hate pudding. LOL
Thats it for now.
Paul