April

Well, I came out of surgery very well and am in the recovery process. My activation date is scheduled for April 13, 2007.
I have had alot of time to think lately and am still wondering if this truly was the best way for me to go. I know, I've tried alot of medicine that just simply didn't work for me. On the contrary, it seemed to make me worse. I have been through alot of therapy and although I'm more in control of my thoughts than ever, I still feel like I am always on the edge. That is if you know what I mean. It's just the whole lump in the chest and wires connected to nerves thing that gives me the willies. What if this doesn't work. It's not like they can just take everything back out without putting me in danger of scarring the nerve or infection.
My family has been very supportive but it is starting to wear them down very fast. Matter of fact, it is straining all parts of my relationship with my wife and son. I can tell how much this has threatened them. At times I feel maybe it would be best if I walked away. The thought of being without them hurts me so much that I could never do it.
On the physical side, my health is not doing very well and I need to take better care of myself. What being a diabetic and a smoker puts 2 strikes against me before I even get on to the other problems I am having.
Well, thats the update to so far. What I have been thinking and were I'm at. I've only had one reply to my blog and somebody warned me about him. I won't say who but I haven't made a decision about that situation. People often judge the judgemental people and don't realize there
judging as well. Proof is in the pudding they say and I hate pudding. LOL
Thats it for now.
Paul